If I could summarize my journey as a Christian in one word it would be BATTLEFIELD. That’s the precise word for it. I think the hardest thing to do for us Christians, infact, not only Christians but anyone who follows a religion is actually following it. It is easier to do whatever you want to do than to follow some guideline.
Back to my battlefield, I grew up in a catholic home; church every Sunday, prayers left prayers right…you know, the usual and I was more like okay its something I had to do, not something that I wanted to do. I can’t say that I didn’t believe in God but i just didn’t care.
Fast forward to me moving to the USA. I moved from Accra(Ghana,West Africa) to here(USA). This was the worst period of my life! I was just about to start form 4 at the best school Ghana International School(GIS) of course! I was finally in a group ohhh. But before going to GIS, I went to l’Ecole francaise Jacque prevert, a French school. There, I did CP, CE1, CE2, CM1, and CM2 which is primary school. In both cases I was forced out of my comfort zone, leaving my friends, my reputation and moving to a new environment. It was always hard at first but I learnt to adapt to both schools, and as soon as I had everything figured out, God was like “…wait! she is too happy! lets throw her here and see her suffer”(thats how I felt).
Once again, fast forward to me moving here. It was a culture change. I hated being here and started to blame God for putting me in this situation. I wouldn’t say I was depressed but I was just mad at the world, mad at everyone and wanted to be left alone in the corner. My High School was the hardest altogether; i love to call it my dark age, it also affected my belief and religion. I really didn’t care about God or what He was doing. All I know is that He was robbing me and truthfully making fun of me; at the same time I was scared because I was bad…I mean baad(as a child/pre-teen) so I thought I was reaping my share of the things I did…“.you shall reap what you sow”– Galatians 6:7. But isn’t God supposed to be all merciful and forgiving? So why was He punishing me?
And then it happened! I remember exactly, it was 4th period, US American history 1. The teacher’s name was Mr.Black (the irony is that he is white). He had a ‘je ne sais quoi’ to him, his presence…everything about him mesmerized me. After class, he invited the whole class do some sort of group thing called communion and liberation. I thought I was in a cult, you know, so i stayed away from it till 4th quarter. At the beginning of every class he would make us pray and at the end invite us to join this CL (communion and liberation) group. I decided to go one day and boy was I amazed(the word can’t describe what I felt! its not even close,it was like a light bulb lit up in my head) we talked about real stuff, like what is the true meaning of life?!? What does it mean to be happy, I mean real happiness?!? What is love?!? Not love nowadays ‘I love you today I hate you tomorrow but LOVE!! that selfless act…..what is faith and hope?!? It was like I was discovering God for the first time and the joy that joy I felt OMG it was indescribable. I kept going to the meeting and vacation and trips they had. (for more info ask me) This period of life was EVERYTHING!! Then I graduated and moved on to college, and there I was again like all alone, no one could relate to the experience I have had, what I felt. I tried to keep in contact with them, but it wasn’t the same, and again I went through my dark phase..lol My freshman year to put it nicely = drunkenness 24/7. The last party of my freshman year, it hit me. Something told me idk if it was an angel, my conscience, honestly idk what it was, but it said *you have seen the truth, you have seen real happiness, why are you doing this.* Bro!! at that moment I began to cry ohhh, I cried like a baby. I cried as if someone in my family had died. While I was crying it was as if I felt liberated….free again! I called my teacher, Mr.black and I cried some more and we prayed and boy! I felt so liberated. From then onwards, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and carried my cross everyday.
It is not easy. It is far from it, but one thing I learned is that, God will never give me more than i can bear and I thank Him. I praise Him everyday for giving me life. The battle still goes on but guess what, the odds will be forever in my favor because SHE is highly FAVORED by my Father.
Signed,
Marie-Ange.
